There are only two ways to live your life: as though nothing is a miracle, or as though everything is a miracle. – Albert Einstein
That quote from Albert Einstein paves the way for a celebration of the miracle of babyhood – with a scientific eye.
Because friends, babies are truly miraculous.
Even before we talk about the miraculous nature of rapid brain growth and how it is that we wind up with an organ that is responsive to the environment (what? A personalised brain? How is that possible? It’s a miracle!) let’s recognise that conception is something of a miracle.
Think of the miracle that brought you to child bearing age. Your ancestral line has somehow made it through millions of years of evolution. Even with prehistoric ice ages, dramatic revolutions, and rush hour traffic, you made it to this point. You get to live this miraculous life: right here, right now.
And what is pregnancy if not a miracle? The intermingling of DNA as bloodlines merge and family stories combine. The seemingly impossible swelling of a body as one human grows another human, while doing household tasks and napping (incredible!)
The cells dividing, a beautiful sequence of biological processes as those cells become zygote, embryo, foetus … BABY!
The whole story to this point is miraculous, but what happens next is perhaps even more so. You see, our babies are born with incomplete brains. For most full term babies, the rest of their organs are just quietly doing their thing by the time Baby is born. Most babies have little hearts that are already fully organised and pumping blood, their little lungs are already exchanging oxygen for carbon dioxide, their organs are just getting on with the work that they will do for the rest of that person’s life.
The brain is different. When we’re born, our brains weigh about 1/3 of their eventual adult weight, by the time we’re three years old they weigh about 80%, by age five about 90%. We can also measure the rapid rate of brain growth at a cellular level, brain scans giving us the ability to peep inside the skull and witness the seemingly miraculous movement of neurochemicals and the wiring of neural networks. Incredible!
As you may know, the early weeks of an infant’s life are sometimes called the 4th trimester, because during babyhood our little ones are so very vulnerable. Unlike the offspring of other animals, human infants are born without any ability to outrun predators or even find their milk source without help.
Think of other mammals – like foals, who immediately stand on wobbly legs, or lambs who can independently find their way to their mother’s milk. Think of chimps who cling on to their mum’s fur as she swings through trees to find food, or dolphins who immediately start swimming. Then think of our adorable little human baby, completely dependent upon the devotion of the adults surrounding him.
When we compare across species like that it might seem like our babies are at a disadvantage – and I guess in the very short term, they might be – but if we think a little longer term about the immature brains of human infants, it becomes apparent that this early vulnerability is the price we pay for an incredible evolutionary advantage.
These early days of life (and weeks, and months) for a little baby are all about data gathering. It’s as though a newborn baby is told “OK, go and figure out what you need to know about this place and time in order to survive and thrive. Go and have as many experiences as you can.” So whether a baby is born in the Arctic circle, the jungles of Papua New Guinea or a farm in the Waikato, they will begin to accumulate experiences that equip them for a lifetime of that. The customs of a family, the sounds of a language, the dangers of specific places – all of these experiences form new pathways between brain cells (called ‘synapses’), and repeated experiences strengthen those pathways.
When a child gets to around age three, their brains undergo a pruning process that can be compared to pruning a bush. Just like a gardener will select the strongest limbs and trim away the weaker growth in order to further strengthen the robust bits, our brains prioritise the strongest synapses (that is, the experiences a baby/toddler has had most often). The weaker synapses – those occasional experiences – are pruned away.
In this way, humans have been able to thrive all over the planet in really diverse geographical locations. Not all species can do that. Babies born in the mountains of Tibet learn a whole different sense of “normal” (not to mention a different skill set and language!) to a baby born near the sea in Tonga, or a baby born amidst the bustle of Tokyo.
This also demonstrates how early experiences matter. Our early relationships are vitally important, as they will go a long way toward teaching us what all relationships are all about. A baby who is used to having their needs met in an attuned and timely manner – at least most of the time – is likely to be a baby who wires a brain that’s ready to participate in a lifetime of warm relationships.
A crucial point to remember is that our brains wire up strong synapses without judgement or knowledge of what will serve us in the future. If we are raised in a home where aggression is normal and violence is typical, or a home where laughter is rare and adults are unavailable, our brains will accept that this is the data we have gathered, and this is what we should expect for the duration of our lives. These experiences can carve a groove into our neurological equipment, setting up patterns, informing personalities, and calibrating stress response systems.
Change is always possible, but it’s oh-so much easier to get the foundations right the first time while the cement is wet, as it were. We can carve new grooves and set new trajectories later in our lives, but we may have to be prepared to jackhammer out an old concrete foundation to do so.
How wonderful if the wet cement of early brain plasticity can be set helpfully the first time. This is what happens if we are lucky enough to be raised in a home where at least one adult is consistently available for shared gaze, warm smiles, and gentle touches. Maybe not always – I mean, we all get grumpy and impatient sometimes, but if we can aim for calm and attentive care most of the time, we will prune away the less frequent experiences. The groove we carve is one that sets this person up for a lifetime of loving reciprocity in their relationships.
Or, in the words of Dr. Lou Cozolino, a writer, professor and psychologist: “the brain is where love becomes flesh”.
So what does this mean for the busy parent of a needy newborn? How does this look in practice for the tired mum of an active infant, or the dad of a toddler who has just learned to run?
It’s about holding your head up high with great pride, and recognising that there is nothing more important than the work you are doing when you care for a young child. Your loving care sets the synapses which will likely inform the habits and beliefs of your child throughout their life. In this way, we can celebrate caregiving routines as being more than just routine – they go a long way to creating a happily ever after.
The repeated experiences of early, everyday care are even more important than filling a little belly or cleaning a wet bottom moment by moment. When so much of early parenthood involves recurring care moments, it’s important to find the connection and intimacy of feeding, changing, dressing, and settling. These daily moments might not be what others see as Instagram worthy, but they are the real stuff of building brains and strengthening relationships.
Knowing that repeated experiences are what build brains, we do ourselves (and our babes!) a great favour if we can ‘lean in’ to the built-in framework of repetitious care routines. If we can learn to see them as an opportunity to connect with our kids, to sing and chat and smile, we automatically take advantage of repeated experiences for relationship enhancing brain growth.
This means working to create unplugged time as often as possible – it’s not always easy, but we must work to give our attention to the little people with the rapidly growing brains and resist the devices that are designed to hog our attention without regard. When we parent with our smartphones always in hand, research tells us that the social-emotional development of our infants is likely to suffer.
One of the ways to make sense of this is to think about how we evolved this amazing brain. Homo sapiens means ‘the wise ones’, and our crew earned this name because of the size and power of our prefrontal cortexes. This region of our brain enables us to plan for the future, empathise with others, curb our behaviour, and think deep thoughts.
Lessons from the intersection of evolutionary, anthropological, neurobiological, and developmental sciences point to a series of caregiving behaviours called “the evolved developmental niche”. These are the practical ways an adult cares for a baby that point to the optimal development of that little person. The niche includes such things as lots of touch (for example, babywearing), breastfeeding on demand, responsiveness to baby’s needs, free play with multiple-aged playmates, and positive social support for mum and baby.
These behaviours helped our ancestors to survive and led us to this very day – equipped with a juicy brain capable of reading these squiggles on this page and making meaning from them. These behaviours aren’t new or radical, and they may not be trending right now, but they do come from the ultimate longitudinal study – human evolution.
These behaviours allow us to demonstrate our love for our precious babies, and in so doing we create a climate that’s just perfect for growing great brains.
Ahakoa he iti he pounamu
Although he/she is small, he/she is a treasure.
Miriam McCaleb is a writer, researcher and teacher. She’s the mum of two great girls, a founding member of the Brainwave Trust in the South Island, and an eternal advocate for babies. Come visit her at baby.geek.nz
Originally published in OHbaby! magazine, issue 48, Summer 2019
Also available at https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/under-5/development/how-the-power-of-love-grows-our-brains